I’m not ready for a divorce, but my spouse is….


I'm not ready for a divorce, by my spouse is....

Florida has the 8th highest divorce rate in the United States of America.

All around, you hear of friends who have decided to dissolve their marriage. I’ve seen people dissolve their marriage after less than one year, and others after 40 years. Either way, it’s always a traumatic experience. No one I’ve ever met goes into a marriage thinking it’s going to end. Yet, every day we hear of people who are no longer willing to stay married. Or worse yet, they are married to someone who is abusing them or the children.

What do you do if you feel the marriage is fine, but your spouse does not?

It takes two to tango, and relationships are no different. Often I may suggest counseling. Try to make it work; try to communicate with your spouse or partner. But if you cannot make your relationship work, stop blaming it on yourself.

It’s natural to feel sadness and grief during the divorce process. Divorce is a traumatic process, and it forces people to change how they view themselves, and their future.

Many feelings can bubble up

…fear, depression, loneliness, guilt, anxiety, and anger. These are all natural responses so it’s good to have a support system to help. Friends, churches, family members can all be great resources. I think the biggest fear for many clients is fear of the unknown. His or her future has been turned upside down, and now they’re unsure of what’s next.

That’s a natural feeling, because divorce isn’t just ending something – it’s starting something new.

Retaining control through divorce mediation

In all family law cases, I am a big believer in divorce mediation. It’s much better to find ways to settle a case without litigation. When two people can reach an agreement, they retain control over their assets, their children, and their lives. Like marriage itself, no one leaves the bargaining table with everything he or she wants. But the parties have retained control of their lives, and they are often happier in the long run.

Life was like a box of chocolates. You never know what you're going to getI love that quote in the classic movie, Forrest Gump,

“Mama always said life was like a box of chocolates. You never know what you’re gonna get.”

It’s the truth. So if you’re ever faced with a life changing event like a divorce, take heart. Somewhere nearby is someone who has had the same experience. Seek out and find people who can support you. And if there is a legal issue, we’re here to help.